Anti-DaVinci Code hysteria

For those of you who've read the DaVinci Code, it will come as no surprise that there are various conservative Christian organizations currently freaking out about both the book's popularity and the upcoming release of the film version (my problem is more with Tom Hanks's hair in the movie, but that's neither here nor there). I can understand why some particular sects (for example Opus Dei, which apparently really does exist) would be upset at their being portrayed as crazy super fundy zealots... which they say they aren't.

My first reaction to such upset, would be to remind them that this is a work of fiction, and that Dan Brown does not actually claim to be acurately portraying anything. Additionally, it's important to remember that in the book the crazies who do the crazy stuff are extremists within Opus Dei, for the most part. Brown even writes, multiple times, about how the public had a perception of Opus Dei as crazies, but that the perception was for the most part unfounded (does anyone know if the Opus Dei people do have the cilice thing?).

Basically, Brown portraying a real life organization by focusing on the crazies within it is like HBO creating Big Love as a show about Mormons who practice polygamy. [Note: I haven't seen the show, and I have no idea if they actually include Mormonism in the premise.] Who would give a shit? We all know that most Mormons don't do the polygamy thing, and so such a show is not offensive. The relative obscurity of Opus Dei may be the issue with this particular part of Brown's portrayal of religion, as the general population doesn't know that most Opus Dei members are not crazies. But really, aren't there always crazies in every religion? Generally they're called the fundamentalists... I obviously call them the crazies.

In addition to the Opus Dei upset, the Catholic Church is likely upset at Brown's portrayal of them trying to stop (with violence) anybody from disproving the current version of the Bible (as if there's only one). Well, I'm sorry guys, but the Catholic church has had a history of actually killing a whole lot of people just for not believing in the (then) current version of the Bible, let alone actively disproving it. If the people reading the book are stupid enough to believe the specifics, that's their own damned fault, but if they're just recognizing the underlying truth of Catholicism's sometimes bloody history, then the Catholic church has no one but themselves to blame.

Of course the bigger issue is Brown's "attack" on Christianity in general. Like, how he suggests that Mary Magdalene was married to Jesus and they begat French royalty, and that Christianity in its current carnation has intentionally blocked all references to the sacred feminine, etc. etc. I'm not surprised that this is so threatening to the church, as it brings women into the Judeo-Christian fold. Gahhh!!!

Robert H. Knight, director of the Culture and Family Institute, says the DaVinci Code "a movie that slanders Jesus Christ and the church."

Yeah, it's all, "Jesus was totally not the son of God, he was actually an asshole, blah blah blah..." Actually, no, it doesn't say any such thing, it comments surprisingly little on Jesus, and the teachings of the Bible, and focuses a whole lot more on the exclusion of the "sacred feminine" in the Bible, and the active demonization of pagan followers of such beliefs. Why is the idea of the sacred feminine so threatening to Christianity? Cause this is a patriarchy goddammit! Get it straight! There are no holy women, no sacred female things. God is male, Jesus was male, and the holy spirit too, if that's possible. Women can't "save" you, only men can...

Basically the Christians that are flipping out about this are scared little sheep who can't stand the idea that some of the people around the world might not be in their man-club anymore. But as my friend Nate pointed out, "It's only a book... and so's the Bible." People are going to believe whatever they want to believe (for more info, see definition of faith), and apparently a lot of people want to believe in Mother Earth.

UPDATE:

Here's an interesting article about another take Churches are taking on the book/movie.